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every year on your birthday you wish for the same thing,
you close your eyes as tight as you can and when you’re immersed in the darkness you’d gotten used to years ago,
you wish to finally be happy.
and after the candles are blown out, you silently scold yourself for being stupid enough to have hope,
to waste a perfectly good wish on something that you know won’t happen.

that night you will go to bed and wait for everyone else in your house to fall asleep.
and just like all those times before,
you will leave your pain on your pillowcase and maybe it seeps into your head when you sleep
because you just can’t understand why it still hurts so fucking bad after all this time.
when you start to fall asleep, you slowly hope that you can re-do your wish
because right now you’d give anything to just stay asleep forever.
anything would be better than the way your chest aches every day
and how it gets hard to breathe when the darkness settles against your ribcage.
anything would be better than the way your hands shake so bad you can’t even hold a pencil anymore
because you can’t manage to keep your food down.
anything would be better than waking up every morning and hating your heart
for still beating.

"Sometimes I wake up crying, I can’t get out of bed, it’s hard to eat and it’s hard to speak." // k.c.w. (via dreamingtravesty)

This is the most relevant thing I’ve read since you’ve been gone. I miss you so much, baby. Rest in peace

(via ryeuhsoreus)

Its my birthday today…

heldenkotze:

 

accidentully:

calins:

thiscosmicobscurity:

His pledge to her:

i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you.  i will love you. i will love you.

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before, but it’s so perfect.

i think I am going to cry

I think at least 200,000 of those notes are me reblogging this

(Source: atomos)

every year on your birthday you wish for the same thing,
you close your eyes as tight as you can and when you’re immersed in the darkness you’d gotten used to years ago,
you wish to finally be happy.
and after the candles are blown out, you silently scold yourself for being stupid enough to have hope,
to waste a perfectly good wish on something that you know won’t happen.

that night you will go to bed and wait for everyone else in your house to fall asleep.
and just like all those times before,
you will leave your pain on your pillowcase and maybe it seeps into your head when you sleep
because you just can’t understand why it still hurts so fucking bad after all this time.
when you start to fall asleep, you slowly hope that you can re-do your wish
because right now you’d give anything to just stay asleep forever.
anything would be better than the way your chest aches every day
and how it gets hard to breathe when the darkness settles against your ribcage.
anything would be better than the way your hands shake so bad you can’t even hold a pencil anymore
because you can’t manage to keep your food down.
anything would be better than waking up every morning and hating your heart
for still beating.

"Sometimes I wake up crying, I can’t get out of bed, it’s hard to eat and it’s hard to speak." // k.c.w. (via dreamingtravesty)

This is the most relevant thing I’ve read since you’ve been gone. I miss you so much, baby. Rest in peace

(via ryeuhsoreus)
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